What is bereavement and grief?
Bereavement is what a person goes through when someone close to them passes away. It’s the state of having suffered a loss. The person who has lost someone is said to be bereaved.
When someone close to you passes away, you go through a normal process called grieving. Grieving is normal after any form of loss, but is most powerful when someone we love dies.
Grief is a very individual thing and there is no right or wrong way to react. But there are some common feelings people experience including anger, shock, guilt, sadness and depression, emptiness and acceptance.
Grieving involves many different emotions, actions, and expressions, all of which help the person come to terms with the loss of a loved one. But remember, grief doesn’t look the same for everyone and every loss is different.
The grieving process
Some people say grief comes in different stages, but many people often feel that they go back and forth and not really moving forward. This can be a way of coping, and over time you will start to feel less overwhelmed.
How long does grief last?
Grieving is a very individual thing and how long people grieve for varies. It may go on for months or years but the intensity of it won’t always be so strong. It is also perfectly normal for strong emotions to surface on anniversaries such as the first birthday or Christmas after the death of a loved one. You need to find your own way to deal with this in the right way for you.
After experiencing a bereavement it’s important that you don’t force yourself to feel better and you give yourself time to come to terms with your loss. The first step forward is to acknowledge you are grieving and allow yourself to feel the way you do. Here are some suggestions which may help:
- Allow yourself time for your thoughts and feelings, both positive and negative
- Talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling
- Don’t be afraid to cry. It is an important part of grief and will give you a release
- Take care of yourself – eat well, get plenty of rest and some exercise
- Write down how you are feeling
- Some people find it helps to go to a support group and talk to others who have been through a similar thing
- Be patient with yourself
Bereavement support at Leukaemia Care
Leukaemia Care provides a Grief Chat service which enables you to talk to a trained bereavement counsellor at the touch of a button. Use the Grief Chat service here.
We have a dedicated bereavement and in memory hub offering you and your loved ones advice and support, visit the hub here.
If you feel as though you need more support in coping with your bereavement, visit your GP to talk through your support options. We’ve also listed other organisations that may be able to help you cope with the loss of a loved one, manage grief and be a source of practical information.
Further help and support
For more information, check out the website or contact them on 0808 808 0000.
NHS provides lots of key information on bereavement as well as offering care and support. NHS effectively signpost to other organisations and specialists in their respective fields.
For more information, visit the NHS website.
Cruse Bereavement Care
Cruse Bereavement Care provides support to anyone after the death of someone close. They offer support in many forms:
- Telephone support
- Face-to-face support
- Support for children and young people
- Bereavement Care Journal
For more information, check out the website or contact them on 0844 477 9400.
Child Bereavement UK
Child Bereavement UK believes that all families should have access to the support and information they need when a child grieves or when a child passes away. There aim is to work alongside trained professionals to help families learn to live with their grief and begin rebuilding their lives.
For more information, check out the website or contact them on 0800 0288 840.
Marie Curie provides care and support to everyone affected by terminal illness. They have recently published a 120-page guide, ‘When someone dies’, covering all the emotional and practical aspects of bereavement.
Download the document here.
For more information, check out their website, contact them on 0800 090 2309 (9am to 5pm Monday to Friday) or share your experience and find support by talking to people in a similar situation at community.mariecurie.org.uk.
Money Advice Service
The Money Advice Service provides free impartial money advice. Included on their website is information on what you do when someone passes away including funeral costs, pensions, wills and so on. You can find out more here.